Making the Move!!

 

I am finally making the move!

I have been blogging, albeit once per year, but blogging no less…..since 2012.  At that time, I had lots on my hands.  Two new babies and one child starting school.  I haven’t been able to dedicate much time to the blog but I want/need to change that.  This year, an item on my bucket list was to blog more regularly.  So, I decided to make the move to a new self-hosted site, www.organizedlifeofadisorganizedmother.com.  The site isn’t perfect yet but I have been working on it and learning.  The goal of this blog is to capture experiences and memories along the way and share those with my family and friends.

Please check out the new site!  If you are a wordpress follower, please sign up again on my new page to make sure that you get email updates of blog posts which you won’t get unless you sign up again.  I love all of the feedback I get from everyone-both positive and constructive!!  Please continue as I grow yet another baby!  And be patient with me through any growing pains!!

Life begins…….

Life begins when a person first realizes how soon it will end.  Marcelene Cox

How true!  I have been faced with some pretty serious situations recently that have got me thinking.  And thinking is never really a good thing for a Disorganized Mother!

Parenting three children while working full-time and beginning a homestead is very challenging.  It is a detailed balancing act.  This is really perfect for me because I like living on the edge.  But I have to watch because sometimes I start to teeter over the edge-which is NEVER good.  Balance is the buzzword of the year for many of my friends and colleagues.  I like to watch what others are doing and how that does or does not apply to me.  Over the seven (almost eight) years of parenting that I have under my belt, I have gained so many skills in this area but can’t we all learn a little more.  My challenge is that I like to learn about everything and strive to master it (or at least be able to do it well) which gets me involved in more and more with less and less time.  What this also does is allows me to decide what stays in my life and what I must toss out to make room for something more important or new, depending. 

Continuing to enrich my life and my relationships. 

Challenging me to look at the pros and cons of everything and what I want for the overview of my life.

 Well, facing mortality challenges this.  Seeing people on the cusp of death helps to focus otherwise blurry areas of your life. 

Faith, Family and Friends are my list of priorities but using this as my compass is sometimes challenging.  This starts for me with organizing my day by these first.  But requires a daily morning refocusing session and many mini-refocusing sessions throughout the day. 

Once you realize how soon life can end, it opens your eyes to what truly matters.  Weeding out the less important and making room for the flowers of what truly matters.  In a life of chaos, heading toward the REAL true north is even more important as it is easy to get swept away in the tides of minutia. 

What is your REAL true north? 

 

Women’s Rights: Agree and Disagree as One

Loved this Bone of Contention!! Please, please, please, click the click here button to read Likeitiz’s original article on Women’s Right!! Such a great, well written article!! Love to see women uniting through blogging on personal issues regardless of their stance!!

Parenting: Daycare- to do or not to do? Daily Prompt- Bone of Contention

http://forum.smartcanucks.ca/attachments/canadian-parents/80905d1329446210-stay-home-mo
Daily Prompt: Bone of Contention
Pick a contentious issue about which you care deeply — it could be the same-sex marriage debate, or just a disagreement you’re having with a friend. Write a post defending the opposite position, and then reflect on what it was like to do that.

Other side:

Daycare: I can’t imagine sending my children to daycare. Why, you ask? Because isn’t parenting the reason people have children. How could you birth a child and then pay someone else to parent them for most of their lives (daycare, school, etc.). A working parent barely spends any time with their children and would not possibly be able to do their job as a parent in the limited time they would have with their children. A parent, by continuing to work, is choosing their career over their children which is VERY selfish. If your plan was to continue to work, why would you have children? How could you let someone you barely know instill all of your children’s morals and values? With all of the horrible things that you hear about children and daycare (molestation, safety issues, etc.), how could you let your children be raised in this way? What is more important than your children and their future? Money, careers, etc?? Your children are only young once. If you choose to parent children, then you should be the one raising them and caring for them exclusively throughout their life.

My side:
I disagree. As a product of a working mother, I was raised fine. My mother was always a strong presence in my life and was a very active and involved parent. The old African proverb, It takes a Village to raise a child, is so true. I am a very involved parent. As a working mother, I vowed to make sure that my children aren’t suffering in any way and I feel that they aren’t. My parents and in-laws are also very involved. Not that they watch my kids all the time. They see my kids all of the time-with me there as well. We visit-have play dates, if you will. I also believe that my babysitter, Karen, and my daycare, The Learning Ladder, are the best possible places for my children. Both places have morals and values similar to my own and therefore reinforce what I am trying to teach my kids. My kids also get to socialize with other kids and adults in a very healthy and developmentally appropriate way. As my children grow older, I am not going to be the only person interacting with my kids and therefore this experience will be very beneficial for them in the future as well. There is a difference in quality and quantity time. My time is quality time with my kids even when it is not quantity time. And I have seen more than my fair share of SAHM’s that aren’t spending any quality time with their children. Being home doesn’t make you a good parent. Being present does!

Reflection:
This is a very heated topic for me as I feel that those on the other side typically have a VERY biased opinion. Because they are doing it, it is the only RIGHT way. Plus, again very biased, are unable to critique their own parenting weaknesses just because the are making the “ultimate sacrifice”. Or the SAHM has no or minimal job skills which they then use as a cop out-I am a SAHM which really means- I can’t find or get any kind of gainful employment so I will claim this as a choice. As I was writing this, I can see some merits in staying at home but I can also see some merits in not. I am teaching my boys that work is important. You want to find a job that you love and do it to the best of your abilities. You want to care about the world and help others make their lives better. (I am a social worker) I am teaching them about balance and priorities. I am teaching them how to work together with others to achieve a common goal. I am teaching them how to love. Writing this helps to reaffirm my point, a good parent is a present parent-regardless of the amount of hours together. Quality over quantity. Every time!!

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/03/17/daily-prompt-contention/

One year later….. Almost

Blogging!! I love the idea of blogging!! I have opinions and like to talk (write) about them so blogging….perfect!! BUT….of course there is a but!! Disorganization is not a good trait to have when you are a mother of three boys under the age of six with a full time job and a reading/running/sewing fetish!! Time is of the essence!!

It is almost one year since my last post and I just wanted to catch you up on what I have been up to.

1. Garden
Well, the garden tanked. Who knew that having a 5 year old, a 2 year old and a 6 month old would make carrying plants (and by plants I mean an entire garden) back and forth from the garage to the outside and back daily while trying to load up the car and get to work on time would be a problem!?! My worm compost also didn’t make it. Brady and I found approximately 10 worms to start and made them a nice home in my compost bin and then the sun came out! Now the worms are rubber!! Not really helpful!!
2. Canning
No garden, no veggies, no canning!!
But my parents canned and supplied me with much of my current winter stock!!
3. Birthdays
Great themed birthdays this year!!
Carson- Sesame Street

Brady- Ghostbusters

Piers- 1st Birthday Dots of Fun

4. Sewing
Made so many things!!
A Thomas the Train bedding set (pillow, top sheet, comforter and bed sheet)

A beach blanket quilt that folds into a bag
Swim diapers-turned out great!! Too cute!!

An Army shirt
Etc!!
5. Work
Made it through another year of staff and clients and staff!! Lol!!
Still working hard and loving my job!!
Counseling-the best career for the introspective person

6. Last but certainly not least-raising my babies!!
So while I am not proud of my lack of garden accomplishments or the books that weren’t read, I am very proud of my boys!! Throughout all of my adventures (disasters), they are beside me learning. Learning how to cook, sew, read, love, cry, struggle, fail and succeed!! They are growing up so fast and every future (more productive) year I can get that perfect garden, craft, decorated house, etc. but I won’t have back that time with the boys!! Cuddling, sleeping, loving, learning and growing!! This is what life is about! God, family, love, ambition, goals and setbacks!

Here we go, year two of blogging! Here is to more of all of the above things!! Lets see where it takes me!! Any ideas??

Not a Zen-ful runner? Me Either!!

I understand the connection running has to mindfulness and meditation but I have not mastered that yet. Actually, I am not even close. If my iPod dies, I am shot as well. But, I will continue to practice running until I reach that zen place.

If you have any feedback on how to reach that Zen-ful place while running, please share!!

Weekly Photo Challenge: Journey

When I recieved the email regarding the weekly photo challenge this week, my thoughts were “What am I going to take a picture of that reflects journey?”  And of course, being a social worker, started thinking more psychological journey than traveling journey–but still nothing.  As I was typing up my post from yesterday, I saw pictures that I did not recognize.  I started looking through them and realized that my 5 year old son must have taken them when we were traveling back from my sister-in-laws house.  He was supposed to be listening to music but clearly he was documenting his journey

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Being the Best YOU Possible

It has been a couple days (ok, quite a few days) since I last blogged. In that time, my life was in a state of less organized chaos (more than typical). I had many gatherings and baby/bridal showers with friends, extra curriculars with the kids and of course, work drama (budget season)!! Some good-others not so much but in this time I got to thinking. Kind of like a personal inventory with strengths and weaknesses. And then I started wondering, do other people do this? Do other (normal) people continue in a state of self-improvement (consciously) throughout their life trying to achieve self-actualization as Goldstein or Maslow suggested?

It seems like I know a fair number of people who do not. They seem stunted in being who they are/what they know and refuse to go outside of that both in thought or deed. People who just are what they are or are not and are perfectly content with that both professionally or personally. Why is that? I just don’t get it!?!

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with the vast amount of knowledge about stuff that I don’t have, or the things I want to do or learn that I don’t have time for and become paralyzed. Is that where these people listed above are? It seems to me as though they are more likely blissfully oblivious.

I can tell you, my head spins at all I want to accomplish and learn. Not saying (in this area) that perfection is my drive but just the satisfaction of knowing that I can do it!

I know a lot of people who are better at everything that I do than myself but I have my own strengths and I am satisfied with that. But, if you don’t try new things how do you know that they can’t be another strength of yours?

It is my opinion that this is how you develop into the best possible person. Constantly growing and changing- learning and trying.

Thank God that I am not the parent now that I was with my first child because I would have had a mental breakdown with three. But without the last five years of growth (trial and error), I wouldn’t have developed into the parent I am now.

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

Imagine living the rest of your life like it is today. What are the things that you would miss? What growth opportunities, and losses that will mold you into the person that you will become?

To me, that’s what life is about.

Self-actualization.

Being the BEST possible You!

“I could have missed the pain, but I would have had to miss the dance.” Garth Brooks

What can you do today to work towards the best possible you?
In parenting?
In your marriage?
In your friendships?
At work?

Whatever is important to you. Dream it and Achieve it!

Sports: When should kids play

Let me set the stage here.  I am a very competitive, sports minded mother.  When I found out that I was going to be having three boys, I was very excited about the potential sports that they would play.  I could not wait to see them play all kinds of sports.  However, since then, they have grown up and are now actually playing.

Last year, Brady played AYSO.  All of the kids were his age and about the same skill set so I didn’t really worry about his safety.  My husband and I were his coaches so I was more in control.

He is signed up to play AYSO again this year.  But, he also wanted to play coach picth baseball.  All of the mothers I talked to said, only one sport per season but I wanted him to be able to choose next year and how could he choose if he didn’t play baseball.  So for one season (both the other two boys are still too small for sports) I said yes.

Then, practice started.

Last night was the first practice.  It has been a beautiful end of winter/beginning of spring this year with 70 degree weather.  But, of course, the weather last night was freezing.  We get to the field and the first coach gets out of his car and lights up a cigarette in front of the kids.  Strike one!

The second coach comes and gets the kids started.  No introductions-just looks over the kids he knows and points at the kids he doesn’t and states “What is your name?”.  My son doesn’t respond to the first questions because it is not clear who he is asking but does the second time that is name is Brady.  At no point did the coaches introduce themselved to my son or to us (his parents).  How can you listen to a coach(es) that you don’t even know their names?!  Strike two!

No running, no stretching, they just get started.  The coach grunts for each of them to get to a place on the field–and at this time he forgets my sons name.  Of course, this is an issue.  How can you holler, Ball, Brady or Duck, Brady when the ball is coming for him and he is not paying attention (he is 5 years old) when you can’t remember his name?!!  Strike three!

They field some balls–teaching no fundamentals–(Brady and the other new kid get one chance to field a ball while the others get multiple balls).  They bat.  Now, they did work with him more at bat but the coach couldn’t get the ball across the plate (what?!!)  He was able to hit balls as we have worked with him on the fundamentals of baseball but not the point.

I am not the first one to beat up on coaches because they are volunteers and I am a volunteer coach for AYSO but maybe you should not coach if you have no skills with kids or baseball.

Also, when Brady signed up for coach pitch, I was under the impression that it was all kids his age swinging and missing and running the wrong way around the bases.  Nope–this is hard core.  Other players are yelling what the heck to the more seasoned players who are missing balls or striking out.  These kids are in third grade–one tried out for Little League and didn’t make it so he is playing with my son who has never even played before.  Not cool!!  Strike four?!!

The coach did let them go about 30 mintues early since it was freezing which just might be the only positive from the night.

I walk over to the field to get Brady and he is coming towards me crying.  I wanted to hear when the next practice was as the coach was telling the kids–never did he tell the parents?!  I had to ask another kid about practice.  I was concerned about Brady.  He was crying and very upset so I asked him what was wrong and he says that his hands were freezing.  I asked him why he didn’t put on his gloves and he continued to cry and state that he was afraid that he would get in trouble.  Strike five!?!

At this point, I am second guessing keeping him playing baseball.  I don’t want him to get the quiting message as I want him to stick things out but this is crazy.  Plus, I want him to learn baseball and make a decision about the sport itself and not the insufficient coaching staff.  He did state that he liked playing if his hands would have been warmer.

What do I do?  Keep him in, sign him out, complain, work with him more myself?

Help!?!

Sports:  When should kids play?  Should this be my Strike six?

Weekly Photo Challenge: Through

The Christmas party ‘through’ the mirror!!